"About a year ago we decided to try and have a second baby. Tatiana prayed hard for the little girl she always dreamed of having. There was zero debate about the name, we both loved Savannah and knew that was the perfect name for our soon to be born little girl. On Jan 24th Tatiana had a smooth delivery and our healthy baby girl was born. I held Savannah up to my face the day she was born and knew she was absolutely perfect. Our family was complete, everything we ever wanted. We must have said a dozen times could our life be any more perfect?
On the night of Tuesday May 7th we gave our sweet Savannah dozens of kisses good night like we did every night. She gave us her signature big smile as she looked at us peacefully and happily. We had no idea that it would be the last time we would hold and kiss our little girl. Savannah passed away silently and completely unexpectedly in the night.
Two weeks prior, Tatiana asked Levi to sing Happy Birthday to Savannah because she had just turned 3 months old. That day he insisted on a different song first: "Jesus Loves Me." God knew that this is the message we needed to get deep into our hearts. He knew our hearts would be breaking, that we would be tempted toward anger, bitterness, and guilt, and that we would struggle to make sense of it all. He knew there was one message we had to hold on to when the waves of depression and doubt hit: Jesus loves me, this I know. Little ones to Him belong. They are weak, but He is strong.
Two days after Savannah passed away I was lying on the floor praying, and God brought a thought that gave me peace. He helped me realize that Savannah was His before He let us be with her. That He loved her before she was born. That He always knew the night of May 7th would be her last one on this earth, and He still wanted her to be born. As a Father who lost a Son, He felt our pain. We were shocked; He was not. He had prepared us to stand against this storm and not be completely crushed.
The night after she passed, a memory came to mind and a calm came over me. We had once traveled and left Savannah with her Abuela, who overwhelmed her with love every minute of every day. We missed her, but we never worried, because we knew she was with someone who loved her dearly and that we would see her again. And it hit me that this is a very similar situation. Savannah is with Someone who loves her dearly. She is not in pain. We will see her again, and we will know her unique personality for all of eternity. It is as if Savannah is on vacation right now, and one day we will get to join her.
When I told Levi that an angel had taken Savannah to Heaven to live with Jesus, he processed it and asked, "Does Jesus have cars for her?" Then, "Is she taller now?" He just wanted to make sure his little sister was having fun, and once he knew that she was, he was at peace. Tatiana and I want to trust our Heavenly Father in that same way. Like a child who trusts their loving father, we trust Him, even though our minds don't fully understand the how. He has proven worth trusting in the past, so the logical thing to do is to continue to trust Him now.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God." — 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
Tatiana and Jonathon Vopinek
